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Disclaimer -
The obviously useless information contained in this pointless message is actually valued by the drones which make up this organization, and has been deemed privileged, confidential, and far too important for the likes of you. If you are not the intended recipient, and you are reading this, you are in big, big trouble, and we will make you very sorry. Huge shadowy figures will enter your house, late at night, and tear the "Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law", tags from all of your mattresses. In order to prevent this, and even more dire consequences, you must: (i) delete the message and all copies, before reading, and long before reading this warning; (ii) do not disclose, distribute or use the message in any manner (we will know if you do); and (iii) notify the sender immediately. In addition, please be aware that any message addressed to our domain is subject to archiving and review, for the amusement of bored persons other than the intended recipient. Further threats, warnings, and disclaimers are shown below. Have a nice day!
Are you still here? Stop reading at once!
Go away. I've told you. Think about your mattresses! (or was it mistresses?) Well, anyway, GO AWAY, NOW
No Cacodemons were harmed during the typing of this disclaimer.
Seriously, what does it take to get you to leave? Alright, you leave us no alternative. We shall have to resort to extreme measures and remove all the labels from the tins in your pantry as well as your mistresses' pants. Wait, that doesn't sound right. We'd be covered in women's pants. Hmm, maybe that is right. No, it sounds daft. Well, sure, we are daft but that's no concern of yours. Besides, haven't I told to stop reading ages ago? Why are you still reading. You must stop at once or they will come and take all my Deluxe Grahams biscuits! Stop, now!
Just go away! I mean, really!